What About Bob

I was a little surprised by Carly Smithson getting voted off last week. We are down to the top 5, so every week from now on could produce a surprise. At the beginning of the season, FOX boasted that the talent was better this year. As much as I like the 3 boys left, these top 5 are not better than any of the previous years. In fact, I might put them at the bottom.

Tonight was Neil Diamond night! Every year, half of us decide that tonight would be a good night to turn off the TV and go out. The other half of us gets really excited with anticipation.
In 1991 there was a movie called "What About Bob?" In the movie Bob claims that his marriage failed due to his wife's love of Neil Diamond. There are two types of people in the world: those that love Neil Diamond and those that hate him.

Diamond has been performing longer than most of us have been alive. I'm not sure that the Idols even know who he is. Diamond is third behind Elton John (why can't we have another Elton night?) and Barbara Streisand on the Billboard chart for worldwide record sales. I wonder why they still call them records? I guess it's like us still calling it dialing a phone.

Not only was Neil Diamond the mentor, but the Idols sang two of his songs. Except for the two Davids, it's a good thing they did, because the other 3 just sucked on their first song. This was probably the worst show of the entire season. Here's how I rated them:

1. David Cook's "I'm Alive" easily could have been recorded tonight and put on a CD or a record. He sang his second song "All I Really Need Is You", directly to me personally.

2. David Archuleta's second song "America" was brilliant. He knows how to play the game and he knows how to sing a song like it's supposed to be sung. He tells the story, and he had the emotion it needed. His first song "Sweet Caroline" was only that, sweet.

3. Seyesha Mercado, showed that she has grown more than any of the Idols, her spiritual and rock rendition of "Thank the Lord for the Nightime", was great. "Hello Again", was boring but face it, it's a boring song. Simon is wrong tonight, Seyesha will move on.

4. Brooke White's "I Am I Said", was the best I have ever heard from her. This is the highest I have ever rated Brooke. She might be in trouble tonight, though. Her "I'm A Believer" made me wish the Monkees would have made a guest appearance. Are they still alive?

5. Jason Castro. This is sad, I have never rated him this low. "Forever In Blue Jeans" made me think he will never be successful enough to afford anything but jeans. "September Morn" felt just like that, cold and emotionless. He was boring just like the entire show, but he certainly was the most boring. Not sure if his eyes and sex appeal will move him past the week.

After sitting through an hour of Young Cute People doing Neil Diamond, I hope your relationship doesn't end. Of course if it included David Cook and/or (preferably and) Jason, then I might be tempted.

Until Next Week - Wise OUT

Jesus Christ and Argentina

As a lover of Broadway musicals and show tunes, (yes let the jokes begin), I was very excited to hear that Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber was this weeks guest mentor. I had a dream last night where Brooke and Carly were beating each other up over who got to sing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina", and in the background I heard David Archuleta singing "Jesus Christ, Superstar!". Luckily it was just a dream.

Webber has a magic (some say it's too commericail) touch on Broadway, giving us Jesus Christ, Superstar, Evita, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Phantom of the Opera and Cats, just to name a few.

I think tonight the boys may be at a disadvantage, only David Cook has the strength to really belt out a song written for the stage. David Archuleta and Jason are more mellow.

So it's show tune night on Idol, here's my observations.
1. David Cook, showed us he can do Broadway. His "Music of the Night" was a perfect way to end the night. I had goose bumps while he was performing, but I usually do when David Cook sings.

2. Syesha Mercado chose a song perfect for her. "One Rock n Roll Too Many" provided her more of an audition to replace either Fantasia or Jennifer Hudson on Broadway. This was the perfect way to begin the show.

3. Carly Smithson, put some needed life back in the show after 3 weak ballads. And her rendition of "Jesus Christ, Superstar" was way better than David Archuleta's version in my dream.

4. David Archuleta did a nice job with a nice ballad, "Think of Me". Does he know that 90% of women and 10% of men are thinking of him all the time?

5. Jason Castro. Where do I begin? This was a mess. It was kind of cute to watch Andrew Webber's obvious crush on Jason. Simon said it was probably the longest 2 minutes in Jason's life. Actually it was pretty long for all of us. "Memory" was not very memorible. But luckily for Jason not only Andrew and me, but a lot of viewers have a crush on him too. As bad as this was, he will be safe.

6. Brooke White had to start over for the 2nd time this year. My answer to her "You Must Love Me" is NO I DON'T. She's out of here.

There you have it - show tune night. Kind of makes a person want to climb up to the balcony and sing to the masses, doesn't it? Only when I have too much to drink do people confuse me with Madonna. But that's a topic for my other blog.

Until Next Week - Wise OUT

Touch My Body

Voting Michael Johns off last week was a stunner. But those of us that have been watching American Idol for years are prepared for the unexpected. He is more talented than all the remaining girls. Simon always says it's a talent show. No it's not! It's a popularity contest.

Michael was just one of 4 very hot boys on the show. Nothing except his accent really set him apart. And it is American Idol, not Australian Idol.

It was Mariah Carey night on the show. She has an amazing range. It almost hurts my ears when she hits the high notes. Can't say I'm her biggest fan. For years girls and even some of the boys have tried and failed to sing her songs on the show. I'm not sure what American Idol was trying to accomplish by bringing her on as a coach.

Mariah's new song "Touch My Body" has pushed her ahead of Elvis Presley as having the most number 1 singles. She's now second only to the Beatles! Is this fair? Probably not, but if Kellie Pickler can be the top award winner in Monday's CMT Music Awards, then anything is possible.

I'm not sure FOX knows that Touch My Body is a song, they may have believed that Mariah was actually going to touch her body. Maybe that's why they wanted her. Anything for ratings!

So how did the Mariah mentored team do?

1. David Cook doing "Always Be My Baby", WOW, this may have been the best performance on American Idol this year. If I can't be his baby, I'd like to have his baby.

2. David Archuleta's "When You Believe" finally has me believing.

3. Jason Castro has the look and the voice. "I Don't Want To Cry" was terrific.

4. Carly Smithson doing "Without You" made me wish she was singing this without me having to listen.

5. Brooke White, playing the piano barefoot, and singing "Hero" was like Simon said, you order a hamburger but all you get is the bun. Where's the meat?

6. Kristy Lee Cook did select the right song, "Forever". That's how long it seemed it took for her to finally get off the stage.

7. Syesha Mercado's version of "Vanishing" was just a mess. The judges liked it, but it was like fingernails on a blackboard. If the voters can't or won't get rid of Kristy, then Syesha needs to vanish next.

The boys were way better than the girls tonight. I think it's because the girls tried to be Mariah, the boys just tried to sing a song in their own way.

The entertainment world does not make any sense to me. Looking into the future I see Mariah passing the Beatles for number 1 singles, Kristy Lee Cook winning ALL the CMT awards, and American IDOL beating 60 Minutes and the Simpson's as the longest running television show in history.
I'm glad I'm not part of the madness. In my world we know what "touch my body"means.

Until Next Week - Wise OUT.

Failures and Rainbows

For once I didn't get a chance to even watch the IDOLs on U-Tube. A whole bunch of stuff going on with my condo, a hot water tank, and my brother. But that's another blog.

I did see that it was "songs that inspire you" on IDOLS Gives Back night. Last year FOX made us sit through an entire results show only to tell us that no one would be voted off that week. So do we watch tonight? I vote NO. FOX has a way to tease us, in not a pleasant way.

Like I said I did not watch the performances so I can not say anything bad about Kristy Lee this week. But I did hear that Jason Castro did "Over The Rainbow". This is the best song ever written. How many songs can be like 80 years old and still be recorded?

And he did the version by the late Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. Go ahead and google him. His voice and song renditions are just beautiful. He has a mix out with "Over the Rainbow" and Louie Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World". Listen to it, buy it on iTunes, or get his CD. It brings tears to your eyes and goose bumps to your skin.

I feel like I failed you this week, and I am sorry. But I promise I will be back next week, with more insightful commentaries on your idols.

Until Next Time - Wise OUT

Working 9 to 5

Dolly Parton night on Idol!
I have to admit the only song I could name was "Working 9 to 5", and nobody even did it. I've really been tough on Christy Lee Cook these past few weeks. But once I heard it was Dolly night on Idol, I promised to keep an open mind. After all, except for the hair, the boobs, the personality, and the talent, Christy was Dolly. This will be her night to shine. I really believed she would end up in the top half tonight.

I don't know why I haven't paid more attention to Dolly songs, I don't really like country music in case you haven't guessed. But Dolly is so cool, how many people have a theme park? She is also so politically liberal that the country music folks stay awake all night trying to figure out a way to excommunicate her like they did the Dixie Chicks and Willie Nelson. And you wonder why I have a problem with country music.

Ok, so how did the Idol's do with Dolly?
1. Michael Johns doing "It's All Wrong, But It's All Right", not sure that Dolly's version was bluesy and jazzy, but this was amazing. If all country sounded like this, I'd be their number one fan. Michael was HOT. In fact, I've changed my mind, I don't want Jason coming over to my place singing French anymore, I just want Michael.

2. Savesha Mercado "I Will Always Love You", maybe not the best I've ever heard, but she sang it with the soul and expression that it deserves. I do have to admit I have heard this song before, but I didn't know it was a Dolly song.

3. David Archuleta, I now know why everyone was talking about his talent. I can now jump on his bandwagon.

4. Jason Castro's "Travelin' Thru" was terrific. He has a good voice and he will be safe this week, but I think he's been playing it too safe.

5. David Cook has dropped a few from last week. "Little Sparrow" was good, but I agree with Paula, his haircut was the best part of his performance.

6. Carly Smithson was OK, but I agree with Simon, her clothes are strange and distracting. Her song was unfamiliar to me, "Here He Comes Again", I don't think I've ever heard those 4 words before. LOL.

7. Brooke White's performance of "Jolene" makes me give my annual warning to the Idols. When you sing a song, you are telling a story. It's your job to entertain me. When you are finished, I need to jump and say WOW! No wow tonight from Brooke.

8. Ramiele, cute and better than last week, but very (I mean very) unforgettable.

9. OK I really tried to be fair, but when you are the worst, you really are the worst. Christy Lee Cook has no soul and this just sucked. She did look better than I've ever seen her. And she didn't go for another cheap shot like last week. She could have exposed her boobs in keeping with the Dolly theme.

I really tried to be fair this week, but there is a clear line between Christy and the rest. However, she continues to advance. This is the exact frustration that Dolly Parton expressed in her song "Working 9 to 5".

Until Next Week - Wise OUT.