Live From New York. . .

You know you've made it big when they make fun of you on Saturday Night Live. Come on people let's keep those folks in New York busy, text your votes for Sanjaya.
The biggest response I have ever received about my blog had to do with what I didn't write: The Crying Little Girl. I have to admit, I wasn't sure what to say about her.
I failed as a journalist to recognize the biggest story in the whole country last week was The Crying Little Girl. George Bush was happy to hear that she pushed him off the front page. And as we learned later she also was a sham, just like our friends in the other Washington. Blogs all over the country are claiming she was a plant. But her tears put her on the Morning Shows. And she was the butt of jokes on Saturday Night Live also.
This weeks show started with Lakisha doing "Let's Dance". To paraphrase some of the lyrics in this song, "No Lakisha, We Need You". Nice way to start the night.
Chris Sligh then tried to do "Every Little Thing You Do Is Magic", sorry Chris, no magic tonight. Gina Glocksen then got us back on track with the best performance of the night. She did the Pretender's "I'll Stand By You". No pretending, she put herself in the top 3 with her effort. In fact this just makes you wonder why they even let the boys on the show this year, but I digress.
This was followed by our favorite freak, Sanjaya. And he looked more freakish than he normally does. His rendition of "Bath Water" wasn't actually too bad. At least not as bad as some of the others. Between a couple people worse than him and the national organized effort to keep him on Idol, I would guess he's safe this week.
OK, now on to Haley Scarnato doing "True Colors". It makes you wonder is black a color? Maybe but its definitely the most boring color. Even though she totally ruined this song and should be sent packing, don't hold it against Cyndi Lauper. She will be doing a national tour called True Colors. It is a benefit for HSC. Again I digress. But after all it is my blog.
Phil Stacey the second boy of the evening trying to be Sting did "Every Breath You Take". Phil, stop singing and just hold your breath.
Melinda Doolittle, the most talented person since Jennifer Hudson, to be on Idol, did "Heaven Knows". Not the best of the night, but for consistency, heaven and all of us know, she should be the next Idol.
Blake Lewis surprised me this week with no beat boxing, it was a pleasant surprise. And Simon is right he is the best boy. Not saying much this year, however.
Jordan Sparks, who by the way is twice as tall as Ryan Seacrest, but that has nothing to do with anything. You know me, Ryan is twice as tall as I am. Maybe that's why I'm stuck writing this stupid blog every week. Anyway I disagree with the judges, her trying to do "Hey Baby" was awful.
Chris Richardson doing "Don't Speak", made me yell at the TV, Hey Chris not only don't speak, but don't sing.

I'd say about half the show was any good. But I wasted a whole hour watching. Makes me want to cry. Maybe they will lampoon me on Saturday Night Live. I wonder if I will have any say on who will play me. Any suggestions? Send me your thoughts.

Until Next Week - Wise out.

My Favorites This Week Favorites 1st Week Week Eliminated
1. Gina Glocksen 5
2. Lakisha Jones 2
3. Melinda Doolittle 1
4. Blake Lewis 6
5. Phil Stacey 10
6. Chris Richardson 9
7. Jordan Sparks 4
8. Sanjaya Malakar 12
9. Chris Sligh 7
10. Haley Scarnato 9
Brandon Rogers 11 1
Stephanie Edwards 3 2

The British Invasion

Panic started setting in right after American Idol ended last Tuesday night. What if America votes right and Sanjaya gets booted off? What will I write about? I'll finally be discovered as the failure I really am.

In life, help usually arrives in the most unexpected ways. Howard Stern, most noted as the "shock jock" on satellite radio has taken up the cause of keeping Sanjaya on the show. Howard broadcasts while strippers are taking it all off. He's having his faithful listeners call in and vote for Sanjaya. Somehow the thought of these guys listening to a narrative of women tossing their bras and the jiggling breasts and then picking up their phones and texting a message to vote for the Michael Jackson look a like, is quite disgusting. However, it worked last week. Sanjaya was back!

This week was British Invasion night.
I don't usually comment on each performer this early in the season, mostly because I can't remember their names. So they have to be remarkable, one way or the other for me to even mention anyone by name.

First out (literally) was Haley. She said not falling off her shoes was all about prayer. Well prayer helped other things from falling out too. If they would have, then Howard Stern's boys would have jumped ship and voted for Haley.

Best tonight - Melinda and Jordin. Worst: Phil Stacey and Sanjaya

Running Scores
1. Melinda Doolitle
2. Lakisha Jones
3. Stephanie Edwards
4. Jordin Sparks
5. Gina Glocksan
6. Blake Lewis
7. Chris Sligh
8. Haley Scarnato
9. Chris Richardson
10. Phil Stacey
11. Sanjaya Malakar

Eliminated:
1. Brandon Rogers


All in all the show tonight was OK. No really bad performances. The leaders stay the leaders. The girls still are way better. If you don't like this, you can turn it off and listen to Howard Stern. I hear it's quite stimulating. Until next week --- Wise - Out

2007 American IDOL-and the drivel continues

Once again that great American culture enriching factory that we know as FOX is giving us something special this year. "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" No, you don't have to answer that. This is actually the name of a new show. It stars four or five adorable 10 year olds, some stupid twenty and thirty somethings, and the king of the Rednecks, Jeff Foxworthy. And to make it even more exciting the new soon to be classic show is on right after American Idol.

The big news this year is that AI held auditions right here in Seattle. Simon caused us all to boo when he stated that this was a huge talent wasteland. But 3 of the final 12 were found in the Seattle auditions. Simon did have a point, "if it acts like a monkey, walks like a monkey and talks like a monkey, it's a monkey."

Just remember this year, when your favorite gets voted off, and its bound to happen, some of the most successful stars were loosers on AI. Chris Daughty is way overselling Taylor Hicks, and well we can't even compare Jennifer Hudson to Fantasia.

I do have to apologize to Carrie Underwood. No, it's not that I like her any better, it's just that you do, or America loves her anyway. She's the darling of country music. Of course this is the same country music that refuses to acknowledge the Dixie Chicks. And you wonder why I hate country music?
I was wrong about Carrie, you do love her. But I was right about Jennifer Hudson. I loved her and you voted her off. So she told you where to stick it and then went out and won a Golden Globe and an Oscar. Don't you feel stupid??

After Sanjaya gets voted off tonight, even though he was the only one that dressed up and looked like Diana Ross, there won't be anyone to make fun of. The rest of them look almost normal. No Chicken Little among them. And there's not a cowboy or cowgirl among them. This could be a boring year, but if you have been watching American Idol you are used to being bored.

This year the final 6 should be girls. If at least 4 of the girls aren't in the finals, then you will see at least 2 of them telling us to stick it and then watch the nominations next year for the oscar.

Even after quite a disappointing show last night, my favorites are in the following order:
1. Melinda Doolitle
2. Lakisha Jones
3. Stephanie Edwards
4. Jordin Sparks
5. Gina Glocksan
6. Blake Lewis
7. Chris Sligh
8. Haley Scarnato
9. Chris Richardson
10. Phil Stacey
11. Brandon Rogers
12 Sanjaya Malakar

This is like March madness, mark your cards and get your bets in.
This will be my 3rd full year of writing this. I can't believe you all still watch this crap and keep reading my swill. It does answer the question that FOX has given us, we really aren't smarter than a 5th grader.

Until next week,
Wise OUT